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A Holiday Greeting From Spooky Nook

by Mackenzie Bender on December 21, 2017

Happy Holidays! This winter season, we got together at The Nook to produce a video that wished our customers a fantastic holiday season. Here's how it came together:Do you remember Mad Libs? Well, so do we! Without revealing the context of the story, we asked you guys on Facebook for some word suggestions to complete our holiday greeting. We ended up having just under 50 of you submit all different parts of speech - from nouns, to colors, to -ing verbs, and famous people.

Little did you know, we were using your input to transform one of the most well-known holiday poems, 'Twas The Night Before Christmas'. So, without further ado, enjoy our ridiculously nonsensical Nook Holiday Story.

 

'Twas the Night Before Christmas: Spooky Nook Edition

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was GARGLING, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that GEORGE WASHINGTON soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of SPAGHETTI danced in their heads. 
And mamma in her PONCHO, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

When out on the DRIVEWAY there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I DANCED like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to GAZEBO below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a BALLOON, and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so MUSHY and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.
More rapid than AN IGUANA his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now JELLO! now, ELVIS! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! TWIRL away! Dash away all!"

As SNOWMEN that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and BEYONCE too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The SCOOPING and MEOWING of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the PINEAPPLE St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in VELCRO, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a MASSEUSE, just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they EXPLODE! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as CHARTREUSE as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the LAPTOP it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That ICE SKATED, when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and STINKY, a right jolly old elf,
And I DABBED when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the TRAMPOLINES; then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a HIGH FIVE, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all LAUGHED like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy LABOR DAY to all, and to all a Good-Night!"